Tuesday, January 3, 2012

My PCOS story - Leanne S.

Leanne S.
Day 2 Challenge- My PCOS Story

I was diagnosed with PCOS about 6 years ago at age 18. My Dad got the phone call from the Docs and rang me while I was on holiday. I had no access to the internet or library, I couldn't even talk to my Doctor and ask him questions until the new year. I spent my holiday wondering about what my life would now be like. I knew the basics - hair, weight, acne, periods, infertility - but didn't know to what extent it would affect my life. I was quite upset about it, but glad to have a diagnosis.. now I at least knew what was going on.

Early the next year I went to see a specialist to find out what I could do to manage the symptoms - I basically got told to eat better and exercise more, and was put on the contraceptive pill and something for acne.

My acne cleared up as I reached the end of my teenage years. I've never really had a problem with hair - touch wood - the odd one every now and again but nothing I cant deal with. The contraceptive pill takes care of my periods for me and I have nowhere near as much pain as I used to. I still worry about infertility but really hope that if I get my weight down I should be OK. 

My weight is an issue for me. It has been a constant battle for me since I was about 11. My mother spent a lot of time talking about her weight when I was younger and I think that I absorbed some of her frustrations and anxiety. I was a chubby kid but never overweight (although I thought I was!!), even during my teens where I thought that I was really overweight I wasn't - I would kill to be that size again. I think that just thinking that I was overweight, made me overweight. 

My weight fluctuations between 69 and 79 kgs. I have never let myself hit 80, I always do something about it. I work hard to get the weight off and feel and look good, but then it just creeps back on without me realising it. A lot of the time I sit here wishing I could go back and change what I ate or how much,just so I didn't have to fight to take it off again. But spending time wishing/hoping that things were different doesnt change anything. I need to put my energy into being stressfree, happy and healthy rather than wishing the time away.

I think about food all the time. It pretty much rules my life, and I don't want it to. 

When I have a short term goal like running the Taupo Relay or looking good for my Civil Union - I can do it, I can lose weight - but I want to be able to sustain it... I dont want to look good on a certain day or moment in time... I want to be a healthier, happier me ALL THE TIME.

I think now might just be the perfect time to change this :)

No comments:

Post a Comment